You’ve got this, Sarah

But do I? Do I really?

I hit the gym early this morning–Monday 7am–because I have a lot to do this week. I have a lot I want to do in life.

I was tired and felt weary during the first portion of the workout–a strength training exercise. As I struggled to push press two kettlebells above my head, my trainer called from across the room, “You’ve got this, Sarah.”

I finished another rep and doubled over, struggling not to cry. Like a great improv scene, the moment had become about more than my ability to lift kettlebells.

There’s so much I want to do–write, act, improvise, teach, coach, lead, read, support other artists, spend time with friends and family, exercise, etc. There’s also some stuff I’m struggling to get through so I can be happier–behavior patterns I’m trying to modify.

Later in the workout, I was attempting to lift a single kettlebell from a kneeling position. My trainer was beside me.

“This feels impossible right now,” I told him.

“You can always scale back,” he responded. “This is about building strength.”

But can I? Can I really? I know I can’t have everything I want or do everything I want to do effectively, but I hate limiting possibilities for myself. Even though I know creativity thrives under constraints.