Fantasy Friday: it’s my birthday

I’m turning thirty-two this Saturday. I’ll be spending the day at the Atlanta Writers Conference and then performing at an improv show in the evening. Writing and improv have been a huge part of my life over the past year, and I’m excited to spend my birthday pursuing my passions. But in honor of Fantasy Friday, I had to ask myself and by extension you:

What would be your ultimate birthday celebration?

When I was a graduate student at Berkeley, I often celebrated my birthday wine tasting in Napa Valley with my husband and my friends. For example, my 26th birthday…

For my ultimate birthday celebration, I’d head back to Napa. My fantasy would adhere pretty closely to the actual celebrations from my past with a few notable exceptions: we’d have a private driver, a much more generous dinner budget, and a hotel room where we’d spend the night.

We’d start the day getting brunch at ABC cafe in Napa, and then go to Mumm to sample sparkling wines. We’d hit a couple more wineries before grabbing sandwiches at Dean & Deluca for a picnic lunch at my favorite low key winery, Vincent Arroyo. After lunch, we’d probably be hitting our satiation point for wine so we’d head back to the hotel to nap and relax before dinner. Because we’d want to be prepared for the tasting menu at the French Laundry. Caviar…truffles…more wine? Yes, please! It’s my birthday.

Where would you go for your ultimate birthday celebration?

Fantasy Friday: reliving my wedding day

Fantasy Friday is back! Here’s today’s thought exercise:

If you could relive one day in your life, what day would you choose?

For me, my first instinct was my wedding day because I’d be able to reconnect with as many people I’ve loved as possible. Plus, I’d get to experience all the fun again: drinks at the Palm Court, the hot garden ceremony, fabulous food at the reception, and lots of dancing!

I love dancing. In fact, my number one criteria for choosing a wedding dress was how easily I could dance in it.

I would also love to relive Christmas when I was a kid, especially because I’d get a chance to be with my grandmother, who passed away my senior year of high school. I miss her a lot. So much so that I might even choose a day from my childhood when I was sick and staying at her house. She’d make me scrambled eggs, toast, and cream of mushroom soup, and we’d watch the classic 1940s Pride and Prejudice starring Laurence Olivier.

There are other days I would consider as well involving family trips, vacations abroad, falling in love, high school dances, etc. I’m fortunate to have many wonderful days to choose from.

What day would you choose to relive?

Fantasy Friday: date night in Venice

If you’re a fan of dating game shows or spend time on dating websites, you’re probably familiar with this common query: describe your perfect date.

It’s a good question, and one that presumably offers a good deal of insight about the respondent. For instance, if you like long walks on the beach, you’re probably not afraid of water. You also don’t mind walking on uneven surfaces or getting sand in your shoe. You’re someone who can tolerate moderate doses of discomfort. That’s important to know up front.

I don’t spend a lot of time thinking about dates in my own life. My husband and I have been married for three years and together for nine. We go out together quite often, but I don’t think of these outings as dates. I associate dating with getting to know someone new and trying to figure out whether a relationship is worth pursuing. Dates are a trial, marriage is the verdict. Yep, we’re going to do this hanging out forever thing.

Nonetheless, as a romance writer, I feel like I should be able to describe an awesome date, and if I were to enact the vision in my own life, I would want my husband to be my dating partner.

I’d go back to a place we visited a few years ago: Venice, Italy.

We’d begin the evening at sunset with a water taxi ride along the Grand Canal. The boat would drop us of in the Piazza San Marco where we’d drink Spritzes at an outdoor cafe. We’d find a place for dinner off the square. We’d drink lots of red wine and eat squid ink pasta and burrata, this insanely good Italian cheese that’s like mozzarella but all melty inside. Dairy magic. We’d follow dinner with gelato, of course, because a day in Italy is not complete without gelato. And then, wine drunk and sugar happy, we’d play a game we invented along with my sister during our first trip to Venice: find the smallest street. The principal is simple, you look for the narrowest street and follow that street until you find an even narrower one. You try not to get lost because Venice’s disconnected land masses, bridges, and alleyways form a life size maze. Eventually, we’d find our way back to our hotel…

Where would you go on your perfect date? What would you do?

Fantasy Friday: mind vacation

We sit on a concrete bench and wait for the MARTA train that will take us to the Atlanta airport. David pulls out his iPad and begins reading a math paper. I keep my eyes focused on the tracks, trying to suppress the onslaught of questions that arises every time I travel. Did we lock the door? Is the oven off? Was the fridge closed? What about the dryer? Were all the lights off? Was the toilet running? Maybe I left the sink on. What if I left the sink on? What if we miss our flight? Where’s the train?

I worry. David reads. And is often the case when my mind becomes mired in anxious thoughts, I turn to him and say, “Why can’t I be you?”

I wouldn’t want to be David forever. I like being me for the most part. But I do believe that spending a little bit of time in David’s brain could provide me with some much needed respite. My brain could take a break from churning cognitive distortions, and I could search out the secret to David’s equanimity so I could reproduce it in my own mind when I returned to my body.

Beyond the potential for a mental health break, I’d like to vacation inside David’s mind so I could figure out what it’s like to be a man. Think of how that could improve my writing! And, for a short period of time, I would know a ton of stuff about math and be able to appreciate it in the same way that he does. That would be cool.

I realize a vacation in David’s mind isn’t without risks. I tend to idolize him and being exposed to his baser thoughts might temper my admiration in a way that could harm our marriage. I’d like to think I’d be cool with his fantasies about other women, but I probably wouldn’t be. Most importantly, though, I probably don’t want to know what he really thinks when I ask him to unlock the front door just one more time so I can check to make sure I haven’t left the sink on.

I probably don’t want to know that, but I might take my chances if mind vacations were an option. It’d be so nice to have a break.

Whose mind would you vacation in?

Fantasy Friday: fanny pack comeback

Friends, there are two things I want right now: an iPhone 6 Plus and a sweet fanny pack keep it in. Forget little iPhones. I want a nice big screen so I can read books everywhere I go. At the mall, at the movies, at the laundromat–wait, I don’t go to the laundromat anymore…

Not the point.

The point is I want a nice, big iPhone, and I only see one problem: where to store it. The small iPhone fits so comfortably in my jeans pocket, but a bigger iPhone might not, and according to a reports, there have been a few cases of it bending.

That won’t do.

My solution is simple: wear a fanny pack. Forget purses with their need to be held. I want a fanny pack that I can fill with essential items (cash, cards, keys, phone, hand sanitizer, feminine products), attach to my waist, and forget about.

Fanny packs mean business. No hands. Well, except for the initial strap on. And then the strap off.

Did the temperature just go up in here? I think so! Try making love wearing a purse. That sounds complicated. But with a hands free fanny pack, no problem.

Fanny packs are sexy.

Right? Right?!?!

Well, in this Friday fantasy they are. If I could resurrect one maligned fashion accessory, it would be the fanny pack. Because I like to keep my friends close and my credit cards even closer.

What fashion accessory would you make trendy again?

Fantasy Friday: the ultimate steak sandwich

My steak sandwich cravings started in high school. I’d hang out at the mall on weekends with my friends, trying on clothes at American Eagle Outfitters and huffing men’s cologne at Abercrombie & Fitch. Eventually, we’d make our way to the food court, and I’d order a cheesesteak at The Great Steak and Potato Company. I opted for no peppers or mushrooms, just thinly sliced steak, grilled onions, Provolone cheese, lettuce, tomato, and a generous helping of mayonnaise. So simple, so delicious, especially with a side of fries and their signature lemonade. At that age, steak sandwiches were one of the few indulgences I could afford, representing the promise of adulthood and the eventual control I would have over my diet.

Unfortunately, adulthood has not brought an endless bounty of steak sandwiches. Nonetheless, I still often seek out my teenage pleasure food. I was eating a steak sandwich recently when it struck me that the sandwich itself would be a good topic for Fantasy Friday. What would I put on my ultimate steak sandwich?

Thinly sliced steak, grilled onions, and a top notch hoagie roll are a must for me, as is mayonnaise–a lot of mayonnaise. I’d also want cheese, but instead of provolone, I’d opt for a queso that would be all melty and goopy. And, finally, I’d kick the flavor up a notch with roasted garlic and jalapeño peppers. Oh man, now I’m hungry!

What would you put on your ultimate steak sandwich?

Fantasy Friday: drinks with Dorothy Parker

I had a great time attending the Decatur Book Festival over Labor Day weekend, especially getting the chance to see Joyce Carol Oates speak on Friday. Before her address, I got into a discussion with a friend about authors we’ve met or would like to meet. My friend, a literary type, rattled off an impressive list of living authors. Then, the conversation turned to deceased authors. He said he’d like to meet David Foster Wallace. My mind drifted immediately to Jane Austen because Pride and Prejudice is one of my all time favorite books. But I hesitated to pick her because I think it would be a weird encounter given the time period discrepancy. And call me a lush, but I want to meet a literary icon I can buy a drink at a bar.

Enter Dorothy Parker. I’m not sure when I first came upon her work, but my fondness for her poem “The Flaw in Paganism” inspired me to buy a collection of her poetry at City Lights bookstore in San Francisco about a year ago. Now, the book occupies a distinguished space on my bathroom shelf. One thing I love about her poetry is how she plays to the stereotypes of romantic love and then undermines them (e.g. “Love Song“). I also like her darker poems that deal with suicide and the general absurdity of life (e.g. “Resumé” and “Inscription for the Ceiling of a Bedroom“). Like many legends who find fame young, she faced many challenges, including being blacklisted by Hollywood movie bosses during the McCarthy era. Another tidbit I found really interesting in the Wikipedia article about her was that she left her estate to Martin Luther King, Jr.

In my fantasy, we’d meet at a pre-Prohibition era bar in New York City. We’d drink cocktails, like the Aviation shown above, and talk about love affairs. I’d ask her how to be bold and stand up for what I believe.

What deceased literary icon would you like to meet? What would you ask them?

Fantasy Friday: first stop Paris

Where would you go if you could go anywhere right now for a weekend trip?

I love thinking about this question because I’ve been fortunate enough to visit a lot of really cool places and I still have a lot I want to see. I’m content with my current weekend plans, hearing Joyce Carol Oates and other authors speak at the Decatur Book Festival, but if I had the option of flying anywhere in the world right now, I’d go to Paris. I’d spend the day at the Musée d’Orsay and then have a leisurely dinner at an outdoor cafe, like this one David and I enjoyed back in 2008:

I’ll consider variants of this question in future Fantasy Friday posts (e.g. allowing time travel, instantaneous travel, longer trips). But for now, where would you fly this weekend?